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Example
I think that this character is confused.
This character is confused.
(The second sentence is less wordy, sounds more formal, and conveys a more confident tone.)

Essays on Cost, Buchanan and Thirlby, ed.

If you are reading a snapshot of this document offline, thecurrent version lives at .

in the Sumerian city-state of Lagash.

(You also have to develop a kind of faith in your own learningcapacity — a belief that even though you may not know all of what youneed to solve a problem, if you tackle just a piece of it and learnfrom that, you'll learn enough to solve the next piece — and so on,until you're done.)

“If I did that to my son,” she said, “I’d go to jail.”

I don’t think school should allow corporal punishment students. In the state of Nevada corporal punishment is not allow in school or anywhere. I’m opposing it because students these days are very smart and understandable to orders when they now there is doing something wrong. Students don’t need corporal punishment to obey orders. I don’t other people should think that corporal punishment is right. By hurting humans they will never understand they correct way of taking orders.

In the article  Dan Frosch tells the story of one case, and then puts it into larger context:

You can find BSD Unix help and resources at .

But just having a home page isn't anywhere near good enough tomake you a hacker. The Web is full of home pages. Most of them arepointless, zero-content sludge — very snazzy-looking sludge, mindyou, but sludge all the same (for more on this see ).

I have written a primer on the .

This doesn't just mean learning how to drive a browser (anyone can dothat), but learning how to write HTML, the Web's markup language. Ifyou don't know how to program, writing HTML will teach you somemental habits that will help you learn. So build a home page.

Develop your appreciation of puns and wordplay.

Most of the things the hacker culture has built do their workout of sight, helping run factories and offices and universitieswithout any obvious impact on how non-hackers live. The Web is theone big exception, the huge shiny hacker toy that even admit has changed the world. Forthis reason alone (and a lot of other good ones as well) you need tolearn how to work the Web.

The following guidelines should help you maintain a formal writing voice in your essays.

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Sociologists, who study networks like those of the hackerculture under the general rubric of "invisible colleges", have notedthat one characteristic of such networks is that they have gatekeepers— core members with the social authority to endorse new membersinto the network. Because the "invisible college" that is hackerculture is a loose and informal one, the role of gatekeeper isinformal too. But one thing that all hackers understand in theirbones is that not every hacker is a gatekeeper. Gatekeepers have tohave a certain degree of seniority and accomplishment before they canbestow the title. How much is hard to quantify, but every hacker knowsit when they see it.

Example I can sense the character's confusion. Readers can sense the character's confusion.

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If you list is short, you might consider using another format to share the information – such as listing it out or including it in a small paragraph. With many bits of information, the bullet list does remain a good option.

This handout provides steps and exercises to eliminate wordiness at the sentence level.

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As an American and native English-speaker myself, I havepreviously been reluctant to suggest this, lest it be taken as a sortof cultural imperialism. But several native speakers of otherlanguages have urged me to point out that English is the workinglanguage of the hacker culture and the Internet, and that you will need to know it to function in the hacker community.